Do What Now?
by Uzamaki Sasuke
Summary: Naruto, determined to graduate high school as quickly as possible, wakes up late on the first day of junior year final exams - only to discover himself in bed naked next to Sasuke Uchiha, sh-t nugget extraordinaire, who insists that he is now Sasuke Uzumaki and that they had graduated high school - 10 years ago. NARUSASU, WARNINGS IN EACH INDIVIDUAL CHAPTER, MOVED ACCOUNTS 2ND POST
1. I'm When Now?

DO WHAT NOW?

 **A/N:** This is my first multi-chapter since my four year hiatus, so it might suck with pacing and such (which isn't unusual for my stories, I'm just warning you).

Please enjoy, because I'm pretty sure I'll rip my hair out writing this shit.

 **WARNINGS:** Language

* * *

I'M WHEN, NOW?

Naruto opened his eyes and immediately squinted due to the intense sunlight filtering through the window. He cursed the sun for having deadly accuracy when it came to fucking head shots. He blinked rapidly, desperately trying to wake up.

He noticed how unfamiliar the room was. He didn't recognize that window – nor the curtains that adorned it. The walls were an unfamiliar cream color. The bed sheets below him were softer than any he had ever had in his life.

He realized with eyes widening in horror that he could feel those sheets everywhere – yup, he confirmed by shifting the tiniest bit, he was most definitely naked. The next thing he noticed was the weight of someone sleeping on his chest contentedly. Naruto's eyes widened yet again.

Holy fuck, he had slept with someone last night.

This wasn't _too_ terribly abnormal, he was slightly promiscuous, but that's to be expected of a teenaged boy. He took a deep breath, deciding that he would have to discover who was sleeping beside him at some point- so, with great hesitation, he moved his eyes to the person.

The hair was the first thing he recognized. He stiffened up considerably. There was _no way_ that that was the person in bed with him. When he examined the face, he leaned back and closed his eyes tightly in panic.

Dear Jesus, he had wooed Sasuke Uchiha, dick hole extraordinaire, into bed with him.

Sasuke never seemed like the person that would do a one night stand, though. He wondered how on earth he had ended up in bed with the slightly younger man, seeing as they didn't really like each other in the first place.

He turned his head away so as to not look this sinking reality in its god awfully gorgeous face only to have his eyes land on the clock. It glared a large red "10:45" at him.

"SHIT!" He exclaimed, shooting up quickly.

He regretted the not moving Sasuke's head first, because it dropped directly into his lap. Naruto tensed as Sasuke stirred slightly before raising up on one arm. He looked at Naruto groggily.

"Wha's wrong?" He mumbled.

"Um…" Naruto wondered where to start, "I just want you to take one look at any part of this situation and tell me what's _good."_

Sasuke quirked an eyebrow at him.

"What do you mean?" He asked more clearly this time. Naruto looked at him in disbelief.

"Um, okay, I guess I'm going to have to spell this out to you, since you're obviously still asleep-" Naruto started, "One, we're in bed together."

Sasuke looked at him indifferently. "Yes, we are."

Naruto looked at him in shock in reaction to the calmness he was letting off. Now, the Uchiha was usually stoic, but this… this was on some different level all on its own.

"We're naked." Naruto pointed out. Sasuke nodded in agreement.

"Go on." Sasuke said.

"We're late?" Naruto exclaimed. Now Sasuke finally looked confused.

"For _what,_ exactly?" Sasuke asked.

"Um, for _exams?_ " Naruto had no idea how Sasuke could have possibly forgotten that – they were almost in senior year, and Naruto was determined to get high school over with as soon as he could. Sasuke's eyes widened slightly before he closed them and sighed.

"What year are we in?" Sasuke asked calmly.

"What do you mean, Sasuke? Have you forgotten already?" Naruto asked incredulously. Honestly, Sasuke was acting pretty fucking weird.

"I mean, what year of school are we in?"

"Junior year, Sasuke – try to catch up, dude. I can't afford to be late, I'll fail the year!" Naruto waved his arms around. Sasuke just shook his head and reached across the bed to reach for something on the bedside table.

Naruto tensed up in alarm as Sasuke's… thing grazed against his leg. Holy fuck, this was awkward on its own – but the calmness in Sasuke's demeanor made it so much worse.

Sasuke leaned back into a seated position next to the blond, moving his bangs behind his ear. He typed onto the phone he was holding, and Naruto stared at it in wonder.

"What kind of phone is _that?"_ Naruto asked.

"Doesn't matter." Sasuke dismissed the question before holding it up to his ear.

Sasuke waited patiently before talking to the person on the other end.

"Yeah, Naruto's got it – he'll be back in a couple weeks at most." Sasuke informed them. He listened briefly before he thanked them and hung up.

Sasuke dropped the phone into his covered lap. He looked at Naruto.

"Junior year, huh?" He inquired.

"Yes?" Naruto asked back. Sasuke sighed.

"That makes this slightly more awkward."

"How in the hell would this be _less_ awkward?" Naruto asked.

"Well. You could have reverted to senior year, where we were actually together already." Sasuke mumbled boredly. Naruto stared at him in shock.

"When we were _what?"_ He squeaked out. Sasuke gave him a blank look.

"When we were already together," Sasuke replied, as if this information were blatantly obvious. Naruto laughed nervously.

"Sasuke, Sasuke," He started, shaking his head, "okay, the prank is funny, but it's over with now. You can stop – let's just get to school and get exams over with. I'm determined to get high school done as quickly as possible."

Sasuke looked him square in the eye with a dead expression on his face.

"We graduated high school 10 years ago."

Naruto choked on the air he was breathing.

"What?" He screeched.

"We graduated 10 years ago." Sasuke replied, examining his fingernails.

"O-okay," Naruto stuttered, "so… wait – that would make you 26!" Naruto exclaimed.

"I'm 27, you're basing our ages off of junior year." Sasuke stated.

"That's – that's how I know you're lying," Sasuke looked at him with a raised eyebrow, "you do _not_ look any older than you did yesterday."

"That's good," Sasuke replied calmly, "I'm only a day older than yesterday." Naruto groaned.

"I mean since junior year, I guess."

"That's right," Sasuke replied, "I don't." Naruto laughed.

"So you _are_ lying!" Naruto was relieved, honestly.

"No, I'm not," Sasuke answered, "I just haven't aged much visibly. You like to claim that I feed on the blood of innocent virgins to keep my mortal vessel at peak condition."

Naruto began to sweat, because that sounded _exactly_ like what he would say in that situation.

"So, what about me?" Naruto inquired. Sasuke looked at him.

"What _about_ you?"

"Have I aged?" Naruto asked.

"Yes, you have." Sasuke answered. Naruto frowned in turn.

"Why have _I_ aged, but you haven't?" Naruto whined.

"Don't complain, you aged well. You're still quite handsome." Naruto sputtered at the compliment.

" _Handsome?"_

"Yes, Naruto – you're quite handsome. Would you rather I insult your appearance? Because then I'd be lying to your face." Sasuke seemed unfazed for some reason.

Naruto took a deep breath.

"Okay, I am not enjoying this at all. Sasuke Uchiha, cut the bull shit out. Why are you doing this, and who else is in this with you?" Sasuke looked at him in shock for about two seconds before he realized something and the emotion disappeared.

"I'm not Sasuke Uchiha." Sasuke stated.

"Oh, you're not?" Naruto asked in a mocking tone, "What's your name, then? Jack Nicholson*?"

"It's Sasuke Uzumaki."

Naruto's heart stopped.

"Do what now?"

* * *

 **A/N:** *Jack Nicholson nickname is an inside joke from We Don't Talk About Applebees. Naruto is Adam West.


	2. We're What Now?

**WARNINGS:** Language, Sexual Themes

* * *

WE'RE WHAT NOW?

Sasuke looked like he didn't have a care in the world as he dropped his hand again to look Naruto in his paling face.

"We're married."

Naruto just about had a heart attack right then and there.

"That's – that's not funny, " Naruto started, "that's not okay."

Sasuke held up his left hand in reply, his ring finger adorned with quite a pretty ring. Naruto examined it.

"Okay," Naruto leaned back confidently, "why come _I_ don't have one?"

Sasuke's eyebrow twitched at the grammar that was unmistakably junior year Naruto's. He grabbed Naruto's left hand and thrusted it under Naruto's nose.

Naruto held his hand out to examine the ring. His eyes widened.

"Are these _real?"_ He asked.

"Yes, they are." Sasuke replied. Naruto gawked at him.

"You guys have gone pretty fucking far for this prank!" Naruto exclaimed. Sasuke sighed.

"I'm not pranking you." Sasuke said, annoyance clawing its way into his voice.

"So, let me get this straight – we're married." Sasuke nodded in confirmation, "If we're married, then why the _fuck_ aren't you freaking out that I can't remember the past 10 years of our lives!" Naruto exclaimed.

"11 years," Sasuke shot back, "you're not taking junior year into consideration this time."

"Okay, 11 years. Explain me some shit." Sasuke rolled his eyes. How the fuck had he ever put up with high school Naruto?

"There's something going around," Sasuke answered, "it causes temporary amnesia. You'll be back in a week or two. Hopefully a week." Sasuke mumbled the last part under his breath, so Naruto hadn't caught it.

"So, I have temporary amnesia?" Naruto asked to clarify.

"Yes, you do." Sasuke nodded.

Naruto knew this was all bull shit. He desperately tried to cling onto his mischievous side to see how he could throw this prank back into that smug bastard's face.

Naruto grinned wickedly.

"Hey," he drawled out. Sasuke looked at him in question. "if you're my husband…"

"Mm hm?" Sasuke prompted him to continue.

"…then we've done stuff in bed, right?" Naruto asked.

Sasuke looked at him in disbelief.

"You woke up naked in our shared bed next to me. I thought that would be a sufficient answer."

"Well, then," Naruto tried to spit out his request before he lost his nerve, "why don't you suck me off then?"

Naruto was about to cross his arms to look smugly at Sasuke in a 'yeah, checkmate motherfucker' way until he stiffened upon seeing Sasuke actually moving to do it.

Naruto was about to tell him that it was fine, he was just trying to catch him in his lie, but all that came out when he opened his mouth was a guttural moan.

Holy shit, Naruto thought, Sasuke was _entirely_ too good at this.

Then he realized that, if they _were_ married, Sasuke probably knew what made Naruto feel good. Naruto had a brief wave of regret when he realized that, even if his future self knew, he held no knowledge on what Sasuke enjoyed.

"Ooooh shit," Naruto moaned as he began rocking his hips into Sasuke's mouth.

Sasuke laughed a little at the action and _dear god_ if that wasn't the best thing Naruto had ever felt then… he didn't even know at this point – this was entirely awkward, Sasuke touching so intimately. He was always under the impression that Sasuke would never find someone that he was comfortable enough with to do this kind of shit.

"Oh. Shit – fuck – Sasuke, stop, stop, _stop,"_ Naruto pleaded, even as he met Sasuke's eyes and grabbed his hair in fistfuls, "I'm so close right now you don't even-"

Sasuke deep throated him.

Naruto was convinced that he hadn't died and gone to heaven – no, he had transcended heaven itself and was hurled straight into the void beyond because _holy shit_ was that one intense orgasm.

Naruto fell back onto the bed, sucking in breaths harshly. Sasuke leaned onto the bed, propping his head up on his hand. He smiled at Naruto.

"That feel good?" Sasuke teased him.

"Jesus fuck," was the reply. Sasuke laughed.

"Did you get thoughts of me like that in junior year?" Sasuke asked curiously, "I had always just naturally assumed that you started when you kissed me."

Naruto had calmed down at this point and was glad as Sasuke gave him another tid-bit of information that could undo this whole prank. Well, he thought, the blow job kinda confirmed that this was for real, but he could hope.

"Why would I kiss you before we were together?" Naruto turned to look at Sasuke's face.

"Kiba dared you, and you never back down from any fucking dare that is tossed your way." Sasuke replied.

Naruto mentally cursed – another answer that matched his actions to a t. He looked at Sasuke again.

"Do we do that a lot?" Naruto asked before he realized what kind of information about his future self's relation with the shit nugget that was Sasuke Uchiha – erm, Uzumaki.

"Do what?"

"That." Naruto said. Sasuke laughed.

"If you mean anything inherently sexual, then yes." Naruto looked at him in disbelief.

" _You?"_ Naruto couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"Yes," Sasuke nodded, smiling, "and that's entirely your fault."

"Why is it _entirely_ my fault?" Naruto asked, "What about the others?"

"What others?" Sasuke asked.

Naruto couldn't tell what it was – maybe it was the look of puzzlement on Sasuke's usually blank face, the admiration in those dark eyes of his, or the fact that Sasuke had just indirectly confessed that he had only ever been with Naruto, but it was quite possibly the fact that Sasuke had only been with one person – him – and he deemed him worthy enough to spend the rest of his life with – but Naruto's heart filled fit to burst with a sudden upheaval of emotion.

Sasuke smiled at him, seemingly reading his thoughts. Naruto then realized that Sasuke was probably really good at that now – and that Naruto had probably lost the ability to do the same to Sasuke in turn when he developed the amnesia.

For some reason, it made him unbearably sad.


	3. I'm Where Now?

**WARNINGS:** Language, the beginnings of some _god awfully executed_ slang

* * *

I'M WHERE NOW?

Sasuke stood up and moved somewhere in the room. Naruto vaguely heard him rummaging through something, but Naruto elected to lie where he was. After a bit, he did look at Sasuke. Naruto looked on in mute horror as he realized just how many hickies adorned his pale skin and how unbearably low they went on his body. He tugged a shirt on over his head and _holy hell_ was he tiny as _fuck._ He briefly wondered how he didn't break him like a twig during sex.

He then realized that he was completely unaware of their arrangement when they came to sex – Naruto could very well bottom. The thought didn't scare him as much as he realized that Sasuke knew what he liked, so he decided that it wouldn't be _so_ bad…

Naruto came back to reality as Sasuke tugged him off the bed via his left arm. Naruto groaned in discomfort.

"You need to get dressed, boy," Sasuke scolded, "you're not walking around the house naked."

"But aren't we married?" Naruto complained.

"That does _not_ mean I enjoy you walking around the house naked – I mean, you lack in common decency so _completely_ sometimes _,_ you dofus."

Sasuke pulled him into place in front of a dresser. He pointed to the top two drawers.

"Your clothes." Sasuke stated.

"What are the other three, then?" Naruto asked.

"My clothes." Sasuke responded. Naruto was, once again, confused.

"Why do you have more drawers than I do?" Naruto asked. "You're smaller than me."

"I have more clothes." Sasuke said matter-of-factly before leaving the room.

Naruto just blinked blankly at the dresser for a few moments before he opened it. He danced inside happily as he realized that his fashion sense hadn't changed within the past 10 – 11 years. He got dressed absentmindedly before he stopped in the middle.

 _Holy shit,_ he thought, _I have never had a six pack in my life._

For some reason, the six pack did a good job in securing the situation into reality.

* * *

Naruto pulled his shirt on as he exited the room. He straightened the bottom as he looked first to his right then to his left.

Where the fuck was anything?

He elected to move to the left first. He reached the end of the hallway and opened the door. Inside was what appeared to be a guest room – it was wonderfully decorated. He closed the door and made a mental note on his mental map – which, let's face it, he would forget within the next five minutes. He moved to the next door, which was a bathroom. He then realized that there was no master bathroom in the house, either that or they weren't in the master bedroom, because he only saw one door and that _had_ to be a closet.

He closed that door and moved to the next one – linen closet. It was well stocked with towels and extra blankets. He moved to the next door and passed below the vent and felt the warm air hit him. He found himself wondering what time of the year it was when he opened the next door to find a water heater. He closed it quickly and turned to move to the next one.

Sasuke was standing beside him.

A surprised yelp left Naruto as he clutched his chest to still his beating heart.

"Holy shit, Sasuke, would it _kill_ you to give a warning?" Naruto gasped out. Sasuke grabbed his hand and dragged him down the hallway.

* * *

They entered a reasonably sized living room, with a doorway that probably led into the kitchen. Naruto looked around as Sasuke went through said doorway.

There were some chairs and a matching sofa, and quite a large tv. Sick. He looked around, but the room was slightly bare – Naruto figured that was because Sasuke had never been that keen on decorations in the time he knew him.

"What do you want to eat?" Sasuke called out to him.

Now Naruto panicked. Sasuke was kind of controlling- that was something Naruto knew for sure. He had no idea how Sasuke had managed to control his palate, but he was pretty sure he had.

"Never mind, scratch that," Sasuke spoke again, "what flavor do you want?"

"Flavor of what?" Naruto asked cautiously.

Sasuke poked his head out of the kitchen, looking at Naruto as if he had grown three heads.

"Um… ramen?" Sasuke shook his head slightly at the obvious answer. Naruto sighed in relief.

"Beef, please." Naruto requested. Sasuke smiled before pulling back into the kitchen.

"You got it, boy." Sasuke replied.

Naruto wondered if that was the pet name Sasuke gave to him. It was really a strange one, so Naruto decided to ask Sasuke about it.

"Hm?" He asked, "Oh, it's a shortened 'boy-wonder', which is the nickname you gave _yourself,_ but you don't know that. I guess I can stop if it makes you uncomfortable."

"No, no, that's okay," Naruto assured him, "I don't want to make _you_ uncomfortable."

"Don't worry about me," Sasuke bit back, "I'm fine – I'm worried about you."

Naruto realized in quite some amusement that Sasuke's sense of style hadn't changed much, either – it was just so unbearably different in Sasuke's case because in his junior year he was passing through some kind of punk phase. Naruto then realized that phases didn't typically last 11 years.

They ate in silence. Sasuke ate a salad – which, for some strange reason, pissed Naruto off because of how small Sasuke appeared - while Naruto ate his beef ramen.

"Why are you eating salad?" Naruto inquired.

"Because I'm conscious of my health," was Sasuke's smug reply.

"Sasuke, dude, you're thinspo as _fuck_ , though." Naruto scolded. Sasuke raised an eyebrow slightly before he looked back at his plate, lost in thought.

They remained quiet after that. Naruto's mind wandered about, wondering how much the world had changed or if June 6th*had really doomed them. He supposed it hadn't, though, seeing as they were still sitting there.

Sasuke's soft laughter was what broke the silence finally. Naruto looked up at him.

"I'm sorry, I'm just thinking about how damn hard I tried to get you to eat healthy. Somehow you always smuggled that bull shit in and I eventually gave in." Sasuke smiled at the memory.

Naruto was sad that he couldn't reminisce with along with him, though he did smile because he was glad he hadn't changed that much.

Sasuke had obviously changed much more than him, and was it disappointing to know that he didn't know how it had happened. It did make him happy when he finally realized that he himself was probably why Sasuke was like he was now.

* * *

 **A/N: *** June 6th, 2006, or 06/06/06, was apparently supposed to be the end of the world from what I remember. Imma apologize now for the rest of this, but I'm working my ass off on remembering 2006 (which is where Junior Year Naruto is from –Sasuke is too desperately to understand Naruto lol) and my French (because Sasuke is fucking French get over it) and I am absolutely _dying_ right now.

This fic is set this year, so you can get an accurate timeline now lol. It's actually revealed later, but Imma just throw y'all a bone here 'cause fuck it my man. Fuck it all to smithereens.

Also, WARNING! It starts going downhill to the angst side of the scale after this chapter, so just warning you now. It kinda snowballs after this, lol. I won't blame you if you jump ship now, though – I did that in a couple fanfics and came back to them a couple years later lol.


	4. You're Saying What Now?

**Warnings:** ShittyEden!French, Language, More!god awfully executed slang

* * *

YOU'RE SAYING WHAT NOW?

Naruto awoke a couple days later and entered the living room only to see Sasuke already lounged on the couch.

"Hey." Sasuke greeted Naruto with the nod of his head.

"Hey." Naruto greeted back, moving to sit on the chair next to the couch. "Wait… why are you home?"

"I'm staying with you to make sure you don't injure yourself." Sasuke answered calmly.

"So you asked for work off, too?" Naruto asked.

"Yup."

Naruto thought for a moment.

"What do I do?" He asked. Sasuke looked at him.

"Me." He replied without skipping a beat. Naruto choked a little.

"Jesus Christ, Sasuke!" He exclaimed at Sasuke's laughing face, "Would it kill you to not come onto me so strong?"

"Sorry, you're just too easy," Sasuke said, shaking his head, "you're an officer."

"An officer." Naruto repeated.

"That's what I just said."

"What _kind_ of officer?" Naruto questioned.

"What kind do you _think,_ moron?" Sasuke asked.

"Uh…" Naruto paused, "I have no idea. It's 10 years after I've known anything, so you could go easy on me."

"11 years," Sasuke corrected him, "you're forgetting that you're from junior year again." Naruto rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, yeah," Naruto replied, "11 years, whatever, dude – am I a policeman officer?"

Sasuke laughed loudly.

"Oh dear lord Jesus," He laughed out, "you haven't said that in so long, and it still sounds just as god awfully stupid as it had before!"

Naruto narrowed his eyes.

"Policeman officer does _not_ sound stupid."

"Yes it does." Sasuke replied as his laughter died down.

"Well you look stupid." Naruto pouted.

"Isn't that unfortunate?" Sasuke asked teasingly.

"Could you _not_ be an ass for once?" Naruto asked. The smile faded.

"If it makes you feel better." The tone of Sasuke's voice was much different than before. Naruto frowned.

"I was joking, Sasuke," Naruto said, "I'm just teasing you." A tear rolled down Sasuke's face.

"You wouldn't be you if you weren't a complete ass." Naruto said softly.

Sasuke breathed in a shaky breath.

"Tu me manques (I miss you)." Sasuke mumbled. Naruto looked at him.

"What?" Naruto asked for clarification. Sasuke stiffened up.

"It – It's nothing." Sasuke dismissed quickly before looking at his phone again. "Don't worry about it, boy."

* * *

Naruto found himself getting annoyed with this habit of Sasuke's – he changed languages on him every once in a while. He soon noticed that he did when he wanted to make sure Naruto wouldn't understand. Naruto grumbled a bit at the thought because he realized that Sasuke was probably taking advantage of his junior year self's inability to speak that language he was speaking.

Naruto tried to get him to speak it as often as he could, but Sasuke didn't do it often enough where Naruto could hear it. He wanted to know what language it was – but then realized that even if he knew, he wouldn't be able to translate without some sort of translator.

He decided to search for his phone – he hoped that it could do _something,_ what with how much time Sasuke seemed to spend with his nose buried in it. The only problem was that Sasuke had hid it, and he knew the house better than the blond did.

Naruto did find it at one point – in the bedside table. He didn't care to look at what else was in there, just the foreign phone that he held in his hand.

He looked around for an on switch, but there were a few unlabeled buttons on it and then no more. He wondered where the other buttons were, because, honestly, how was he supposed to do anything? Maybe if he talked to it…?

"Hey." He said. It did nothing.

"Hey yo, homeslice?" Naruto said, trying to seem more casual – you know, in case phones had feelings now. Still nothing.

"Hello?" He attempted one final time. He sighed, then decided to try to use the buttons.

He pressed the big one on the front first which seemed to turn the screen on.

His background was of Sasuke sleeping. Naruto found it oddly cute.

On the bottom of the screen was a prompt. "Use fingerprint or swipe screen to unlock"

Okay, Naruto thought, where was he supposed to use his fingerprint, and how would the phone know when he swiped the screen?

He placed his index finger on the big button, but it just vibrated once and prompted him to try again. So he did. He did it so much that it locked him out and made him wait before he could attempt again. When it stopped he swiped the screen, which asked him for a passcode. He groaned. Where were the number buttons, and what number had he picked? He had no idea what number his future self would pick! He did figure out that he pressed the screen for the numbers, which was pretty tight in of itself, so he tried every number he could think of that meant something to him.

7667, his kindergarten ID number*. Nope.

1988, his birth year. Nuh-uh.

1010, his birthday. Zip.

2007, his graduating class. Nada.

0723, Sasuke's birthday. Zilch.

The phone locked up again, this time with a longer cool down period. He groaned in frustration. What number had he chosen?

All that stared at him was the time, 2:30, and the date, October 13, 2017. It was only 3 days after his birthday. He then realized that he had woken up two days ago, which meant that he had just missed forgetting everything on his birthday.

The phone was snatched from his hand. Naruto looked over at Sasuke.

"What are you doing?" Sasuke asked.

"Trying to access _my_ phone." Naruto spit back with annoyance. Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"Leave it alone." He instructed before walking away with it.

"Wait-" Naruto asked him. He paused. "What's my passcode?"

Sasuke was stiff once again.

"It's our anniversary." He spit out.

"Well," Naruto asked, "what's our anniversary?"

Sasuke paused.

"If I told you, you'd be able to get into it."

Naruto narrowed his eyes at his husband's back.

"Why are you so T.O.'d, dude?"

"Va te faire foutre (Kiss my ass. FUN FACT! This actually means "Go fuck yourself")." Sasuke spat back in reply. Naruto groaned upon remembering why he had wanted to get into his phone in the first place.

* * *

Naruto decided that he had to find something to annoy Sasuke with, since he was being an annoying douche himself. He searched around the house until he came back into their room. He eyed the bad side table. His phone was in there previously, but he hadn't taken notice to what else was there. There _had_ to be something in there.

He made his way to it and opened it to examine the contents.

Okay, he thought, that's lube. Mm hm. He nodded with his lips pressed tightly into a thin line. Not something he wanted to think about right now.

He looked around more. There were some keys, some batteries, some chap stick, some extra cash, and then something he couldn't quite recognize. It was strange. When he held it, the outer part swung a little. He pondered it for a moment.

His mouth broke out into a full grin when he realized how to use it. Yup, this would probably annoy Sasuke.

* * *

Sasuke heard it and groaned, pressing his head back into the arm of the couch he was laying on.

"I see you've found your fidget spinner," Sasuke said in annoyance. Naruto grinned maniacally.

"So that's what it's called?" He asked, spinning the damned thing in his hand.

"Yes, it is, now I suggest you put it back before I take it and ram it down your fucking throat." Sasuke threatened.

"This is tight," Naruto said, ignoring said threat.

"They are _not_ 'tight', Naruto, they are an epidemic and, quite frankly, a menace to society, so _please dear lord Jesus PUT IT BACK."_

"Fine," Naruto agreed, to which Sasuke breathed out in relief. "On one condition, though,"

"What might that be?" Sasuke asked.

"What language have you been speaking, and please stop." Naruto smirked in victory.

What he didn't count on was Sasuke jumping up from the couch and snatching the thing away from him.

"Nice try, bâton de pain (bread stick - said in a literal translation because Naruto would know baguette? I dunno, I just kinda wanted him to call him a breadstick)," Sasuke hissed out, "but not today."

He walked out of the room with fidget spinner in hand.

Damn, Naruto had hoped that would work.

* * *

Naruto grew more and more annoyed with Sasuke the more he pulled the alternate language shit. Sasuke didn't seem to give one fuck even though Naruto knew for a fact that he had noticed the blond's frustration.

"What language are you even _speaking?_ " Naruto asked.

"Tu aimerais bien savoir, hein? (Wouldn't you like to know? Corrected by AO3 reader)" Sasuke mocked him. Naruto groaned.

"I don't know what you're SAYING!" Naruto threw his hands up in the air.

"Ç'est la raison pour laquelle (That's why)." Sasuke mumbled sadly.

For some reason – probably the way Sasuke had said the last part – Naruto understood that Sasuke was trying to grasp onto something that they had – something that he did _not_ have with junior year Naruto.

Now Naruto wasn't angry. He wasn't annoyed. He was sad.

This was the first point that he realized that Sasuke was severely depressed because he had forgotten.

* * *

 **A/N:** Congratulations to everyone that has made it this far into my horrible grammar, horrible spelling, horrible plot, horrible language, horrible '06 slang, and horrible French, because I love each and every one of you. If you could tell me how much you hate it, that would be _great._

*7667 was _my_ Kindergarten ID number. I _used to_ use it for all four digit passcodes when I was younger, like on Neopets. I thought that Naruto might have done something like that, too.

 **EDIT:** Readers on AO3 have corrected some French errors. I am fixing them now.


	5. I Did What Now?

**WARNINGS:** Dear lord jesus why do you still read my awful '06 slang because you all have a death wish I swear, also the French, too, but fuck off dude I'm trying? Lol jk it sucks monkey cock tbh. Also language but the previous sentence kinda foreshadowed to that lol.

* * *

I DID WHAT, NOW?

About a week had passed now.

Sasuke had settled down a bit with the speaking of the other language, which Naruto had discovered the previous day was French because Sasuke had slipped up when he greeted him with a 'bonjour'. Naruto smirked at the memory – he kind of liked Sasuke speaking it, he seemed to slip into a different accent whenever he did. He had thought about how he never had spoken French in high school – Naruto wasn't even sure if he had taken the class. He got upset when he realized that it was yet another thing about Sasuke that he did not remember. So, with that final thought, he came back to his current reality.

And boy, was Naruto very annoyed and very, _very_ bored.

Sasuke had decided that it would be better for Naruto if he didn't leave the house so he couldn't hurt himself. Sasuke had also elected to take Naruto's phone away from him again, which, frankly, Naruto probably wouldn't be able to figure out how to unlock anyways. If he _did,_ though, politics these days would surely make him shoot himself.

Sasuke looked over at Naruto, who was currently examining the ceiling.

"What's wrong?" Sasuke called out to him softly.

"Not much," Naruto replied.

"Why do you look so mopey then?"

"I mean not much is going on," Naruto flopped over to look at Sasuke, "catch my drift?" Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"Would you like me to invite someone over?" Naruto jumped upon Sasuke's suggestion.

"What?" Naruto asked.

"Would you like me to invite someone over?" Sasuke repeated.

"Uh… who?" Naruto asked. Sasuke thought for a moment.

"Sakura might be off today – you always seemed quite fond of her in junior year." Naruto hopped in his seat happily at the suggestion.

"Totally!" Naruto exclaimed excitedly. Sasuke picked up his phone to dial.

"Calm yourself, boy." Sasuke smirked at him before greeting the woman on the other side of the line.

Sasuke talked to Sakura for a bit, before he put his hand on the mic and asked Naruto, "Is it alright if she brings her girlfriend?"

Naruto looked at him in disbelief. Sasuke nodded in response to his unanswered question that happened to be plastered all over his face. Naruto breathed out a small breath before nodding.

"Okay," Sasuke told her, "it's cool."

* * *

Sasuke answered the door for the girls. They entered the house, Sakura promptly being hugged and squeezed almost painfully by the blond.

"Dear Jesus, Naruto," Sasuke scolded him, prying him off of the woman, "you are going to squeeze her until she pops, I swear."

Naruto finally let go, quite visibly excited to see his friend.

"Hi!" Naruto squealed.

Sakura looked at Sasuke with wide eyes. Sasuke shrugged before Sakura turned back to Naruto.

"Hi, Naruto. How are you doing?" Sakura asked as they all moved to sit down.

"I'm great now!" Naruto exclaimed, "Can you imagine what it's like to spend a week with _just_ Sasuke?"

Sakura and Ino cast the stiffening Sasuke a short glance before desperately trying to change the subject.

"You probably remember junior year better than we do," Ino said.

"Hells yeah!" Naruto answered. Sasuke rolled his eyes again, but the smile didn't grace his face at the stupid phrase as the sting from the earlier declaration hit him.

* * *

They continued an animated conversation that Sasuke moderated, watching the phone in his hand for most of it.

"What part of junior year were we in?" Sakura asked.

"Oh, the day before exams," Naruto started, "but I woke up here in bed with Sasuke who told me we were married and I couldn't believe it because, like, why would I marry _Sasuke,_ right?"

Naruto had no idea what he had done.

Sakura and Ino were painfully aware of what he had done as they observed the tears that quietly slipped from Sasuke's eyes. He stood up and calmly walked out of the room.

"I mean, it's so weird, he's kind of an asshole and-"

"Naruto." Sakura bit at him. He paused and looked at her in shock.

"Yes?" He asked timidly.

"Why did you say that?" She asked.

"Say what? What did I say?"

"What the _hell_ possessed you to ask why you would marry Sasuke when you were sitting _six fucking feet away from him?"_ Ino continued angrily. Naruto's eyes widened.

"I- I- I swear, I didn't notice that I had said it, I swear!" Naruto put his hands up in surrender. Sakura sighed.

"We have to get going now, anyways." She moved to stand up and go to the door.

"You need to apologize." Ino told Naruto before they both left the house.

Sure, Naruto felt guilty as the door closed, but he was glad that Sasuke didn't storm out of the room – it obviously didn't affect him as much as they thought it did. Sasuke probably realized that it was junior year Naruto that had said that to him, not future Naruto, so he wouldn't think much of it –

His train of thought died down as he stood outside of their bedroom, listening to Sasuke's horribly pained sobs.

"Dieu, pourquoi m'as-tu fait ça? Qu'était ce-que j'ai fait (God, why are you doing this to me? What did I do?)?"

Naruto's eyes teared up as he slid down to sit on the outside of the door. Holy hell, did he hate his future self. He cursed his future self for ever getting this god damned amnesia as he listened to Sasuke's heart break at the words the blond didn't give a second thought to as they flew out of his mouth.

He was painfully aware of how Sasuke didn't deserve this.

* * *

 **A/N:** And, wouldn't you know, it gets even _more angsty_ as this continues! Fun shit, amiright?

I know the French doesn't translate to exactly what I'm saying but it gets the gist of it – not exact translation but close, because I suck at speaking English so my French was fucked up and over before I even began lol.

 **EDIT:** Again, corrected French. Tenses are not my friend.


	6. I'm Supposed to Say What Now?

**Warnings:** Language, More ShittyEden!French (I am not the Frenchiest Fry), More God awfully exectuted!'06 slang

 **A/N:** I actually realized that a bit of the explanation for some things were pushed back because, as I may have mentioned earlier, I wrote this all in one night and then expanded it later. I forgot that the expanding pushed some things back.

 **I MOVED ACCOUNTS SO THIS REFERENCES REVIEWS LEFT ON THE PREVIOUS POSTING**

1\. As this chapter is about to reveal, Sasuke hasn't actually been sleeping in the same bed as Naruto. Someone mentioned some qualms about that, so there that is.

2\. This isn't realistic, dudes. If you want an example of how much I do not understand how the world works, read Schizophrenia – I misdiagnosed Naruto in it (he's based off of me, who _has_ bipolar, but that's definitely not what's causing his behavior in it), Sasuke isn't a complete picture of schizophrenia (my experience was based off of other people, I am not schizophrenic), and I had never had any run in with mental facilities in my life (I have now, six times in fact), so, my dudes, I learn, but I'm not the type to worry much about realism. I save my energy for my original shit I'm writing – my fanfictions are things I come up with while I'm trying to sleep and I consistently write them in the middle of the night. Hell, I almost never remember what I wrote until I read it the next day.

3\. The illness thing is just an excuse for the temporary amnesia. The whole reason why it's not a real illness is because it's not a real story – I'm not going to take the time to look at that. Which, I admit, I probably should, but I'm not going to.

4\. Naruto's slang is based off of how I used my '06 slang. It's annoyingness might be due to the fact that I was, what, 8 in 2006? So it's a pretty huge difference in age between the 17 year old Naruto and the 8 year old me. I'm also not putting in as much as I should because I know it's kind of annoying but I'm putting it there anyways? I dunno.

5\. Sasuke is getting really upset, I know that. Mr. Anon mentioned that it would make more sense if Naruto was chronic because Sasuke is very upset, but in the end of this chapter it's revealed why he is getting progressively more pissed off as time goes on – because time _is_ going on, I guess – I dunno, you'll see.

6\. I didn't actually explain everything I should have before, because, like I said, I write these in the middle of the night. Not going to explain them in a fucking author's note because that is straight up cheating right there.

7\. Okay, people keep mentioning 50 First Dates, something I've heard of but never seen – which I guess has some similarities to this story? I dunno. This is as strange as when I was writing 'I Know You Better Than You Think I Do', in which everyone told me I was ripping off 'the Vow', which I have _also_ never seen. Damned people taking my story lines before I even write them. Fuck off. Lol.

8\. Thank you Mr. Anon and the lovely Ms. YaoiTora for pointing out some flaws in my stuff – this _is_ my first multi chapter fic I've written in 4 years – actually, multi chapter anything since I stopped writing completely after 2013 besides some poems and shit.

This author's note is now incredibly long so I do apologize for that, just needed to get some stuff out there – I have no idea how the world works because, quite frankly, I'm pretty delusional and not very connected. So I'm sorry that you're putting up with my bull shit.

I love you all, let's continue.

* * *

I'M SUPPOSED TO SAY WHAT NOW?

Naruto walked out into the living room where Sasuke had been sleeping – he had decided to give Naruto the bed so he didn't freak him out.

He was making his way into the kitchen to get a glass of water before he heard Sasuke crying on the couch. Naruto sighed. It had been two days since Sakura and Ino had come over, yet Sasuke still seemed to be so upset with him – in fact, it seemed to get worse each day.

Naruto walked to the couch and crouched down beside Sasuke. He was sleeping – Naruto could tell that much. He reached out a tanned hand and stroked Sasuke's hair comfortingly. Sasuke didn't seem to calm down, though. Naruto sighed before leaning in to kiss his ear lightly.

"It's okay, Sasuke, I'm here." Naruto comforted him.

Sasuke seemed to quiet down more. Naruto realized that he _was_ asleep, and even in his sleep he still suffered because of what Naruto was putting him through. He missed his future self, and it made Naruto not angry but frustrated that he couldn't do a damn thing to remedy the situation. He hoped that maybe being more affectionate towards the other man would help, since he had always figured that he would be affectionate when he got older.

He lifted Sasuke off of the couch taking care not to wake him and brought him into the room. He placed him down on his right side and Naruto crawled up behind him to spoon him.

"I love you." Naruto whispered.

The words seemed to do the trick, because Sasuke calmed down completely and began to sleep peacefully. Naruto kissed the back of his hair and settled down. He hoped that he could help Sasuke forget that he wasn't there.

* * *

When Naruto awoke, Sasuke was still curled up into his warmth. Naruto smiled. He pulled Sasuke in closer to him and threw a leg over his. Sasuke sighed in approval of his actions.

Naruto traced circles along Sasuke's hip for a while, just basking in the feeling of holding him close. He liked it – liked how much Sasuke seemed to trust him. It was a while before Naruto looked up from Sasuke's hip and straight into the eyes of the owner. He looked content for once.

"Hey," Sasuke breathed out softly.

"Hey," Naruto said in reply.

Sasuke leaned in to kiss him, and Naruto let him. It was a ghosting of lips together before Sasuke moved them so he could lie on Naruto's chest. He nuzzled his face into the crook of Naruto's neck. The blond was happy that Sasuke had seemed to have forgotten which Naruto he was with.

The feeling was short lived.

"Je t'aime, mon cher (I love you, my dear)." Sasuke spoke softly. Naruto stiffened.

Okay, he _knew_ that Sasuke was speaking French again, but he had no idea what the fuck he was saying or what he was supposed to reply with.

Sasuke rose up on one arm and watched Naruto expectantly. Naruto only looked at him in hopes that Sasuke could maybe remind him what he was supposed to say? Instead, Sasuke's eyes darkened before he got off of the bed and rummaged through the dresser rather aggressively.

Naruto thought about finally asking Sasuke when he started speaking French, but when he heard Sasuke slam the room door shut –yeah, he was toast - he decided that it was best to leave it alone, at least for now.

* * *

Naruto entered the living room and passed into the kitchen. Sasuke was washing the dishes currently, but it looked like he had already cooked based on the warm bowl of ramen waiting for the blond. Naruto winced upon seeing it. He was so aware of how much damage he was doing to Sasuke, and yet Sasuke kept trying to help him.

It wasn't fair.

"Thank you," Naruto thanked the other man. Sasuke remained silent, picking up a plate to scrub it.

Naruto thought about earlier, wondering if he knew any French at all. He realized that he at least thought he knew how to say thank you.

"Merci (Thank you –obviously)…?" Naruto basically asked.

He jumped when Sasuke screamed at him.

"Don't, just don't!"

Sasuke slammed the plate down in the sink, effectively breaking it.

Sasuke tensed up completely before dropping his face into his hands. He breathed for a few moments as Naruto stared at him in shock. The Sasuke he knew could be this violent, but the Sasuke he was coming to know didn't seem to be quite the type.

"Je suis désolé (I'm sorry)," Sasuke said weakly, "it's not your fault."

Naruto walked over to him.

"It kind of is," Naruto started.

"No, it's not," Sasuke fired back quickly, "you can't do jack shit about this situation. I shouldn't be holding you accountable."

Naruto most certainly felt like he _should_ be held accountable.

* * *

They were sitting in the living room. Sasuke was staring blankly at the tv, but it was obvious that he wasn't registering what was playing – not just from the blank look, but from the fact that the screen displayed a moving 'No Signal' sign bouncing around on it. Naruto decided to test his luck by interviewing Sasuke.

"When did you start speaking French?" Naruto asked quiet and cautiously.

"I always have." Sasuke replied in an eerie tone of voice, not moving to look away from the screen.

"What do you mean you always have?" Naruto asked.

"I was born in France." Sasuke replied. Naruto sat still and registered this.

"You're French?" He asked. Sasuke turned to look at him questioningly before the reality of the situation hit him again.

"Yes, I am. I forgot that your junior year self hadn't known that." He said as he faced the screen once again.

"Did my senior year self know that?" Naruto was referring to when he had first woken up and Sasuke had told him that reverting to senior year would have made things less awkward. Sasuke sighed.

"No."

"Oh." Naruto sat back in his chair.

The silence between the two dragged on as Naruto thought of what to say.

"Do I know French?" Naruto asked. Sasuke snorted.

"God no," Sasuke replied in amusement, "you don't speak a lick of it." He laughed. "You made an effort, though, even though your effort was shit."

Naruto smiled as Sasuke laughed again.

"Why do you keep speaking to me in it, then?" He inquired.

"I want you to…" Sasuke trailed off as he looked to the side. "Never mind."

"No, no, tell me." Naruto pleaded softly.

"You reply with the same thing every time," Sasuke answered, "I just want you to do it again."

"Do I reply in god awfully broken French?" Naruto asked. The question made Sasuke laugh again.

"God no," He replied, "I always want to punch you in the face when you speak it – everything about it is just so _awful_." He continued to laugh.

He wished Sasuke could be this happy around him again, but he knew what he had said had done a tremendous amount of damage to his other half.

"Je saurai que ç'est toi quand tu le fais (I'll just know that it's you when you do it)," was spoken softly with sorrow.

What Naruto didn't know was that Sasuke wasn't suffering because of his words, but because of the date that was coming up.

* * *

 **A/N:** *coughcough* Their anniversary is coming up and that's why Sasuke's pissed off *coughcough*

Another problem I have with people asking about realism is the fact that the next chapter has some smexy scenes in it and I know Imma be getting some major shit for it because I never write them and I'm not sure how everything works – I am a 20 year old virgin lesbian so I don't know jack shit about gay stuff – or even stuff in general, for that matter, since the next chapter isn't really sex, it's the stuff leading up to it.

Just warning you now, the next chapter is the _last_ chapter besides the epilogue – and there are some _VERY_ explicit sexual scenes in it, so be warned.

You can't skip it, though, because important plot points happen in the middle? Like, sucks to be you guys if you don't want to read that shit.

 **ALSO! NEXT CHAPTER HAS MORE LIGHT HEARTED SCENES AGAIN SO LOOK FORWARD TO THAT I GUESS**


	7. Is This the Finale Now?

**WARNINGS:** Language, Explicit Sexual Scene, More ShittyEden!French, More GodAwfullyExecuted!'06Slang

 **A/n:** Just so ya know, a lot more of the light hearted nature of the first few chapters is found in this one again, so if you're looking for a lightening up, it's here – there's just some god awful angst in between.

Have fun!

* * *

THIS IS THE FINALE NOW?

It was some days since the phone incident, the only time he had a grasp on when he was. When he did the math, he came to the conclusion that it had been either nine or ten days since then, so it was either the 22 of October or the 23.

Naruto stopped his train of thought as he saw Sasuke, all ready to leave. Sasuke was dressed in a business suit with a briefcase in hand. He turned towards the blond as he entered the living room.

"Uh," Naruto began to ask, "where ya heading?"

"Work." Sasuke couldn't help but let a bit of venom inject itself into his words, "I have to speak with a client today. I'll be gone a while."

Naruto followed him to the door. When Sasuke had just exited, he looked up at Naruto. Naruto realized that he was actually an inch or two above Sasuke now –he had always been shorter. For some reason, this made Sasuke seem more vulnerable, and he hated it. He didn't register the expectant look in Sasuke's eyes before they darkened and he turned away to go to the car.

"Pourquoi ñ'est-ce pas toi (Why isn't it you)?" Sasuke mumbled as he continued to the car.

"Be safe." Naruto called out to him.

"Fuck off." Sasuke bit back, showing him the finger.

Naruto was taken aback. Sasuke just flipped him the bird. The Sasuke he was used to would most _definitely_ treat him like that, speaking down on him with that malicious intent. However, the Sasuke he had been coming to know within the past weeks was not one to speak to him like that.

God, he had hurt Sasuke so bad last week.

* * *

Naruto lay down in the bed, staring at the ceiling. He lay unmoving for a few hours, just thinking about all the ways he could apologize to Sasuke. He finally decided to stand up and explore what of the house he hadn't had the chance to since Sasuke seemed to be censoring him somewhat.

He first decided to open the closet.

He promptly closed it.

He leaned his head against the cool wood of the door and attempted to register what he had just seen. Steeling himself for another look, he hesitantly opened the door.

Yup, that was definitely bondage gear hanging from the door.

He turned away to look at the rest. There were suits – probably Sasuke's, judging both by what he had worn that day and how small they were, and he moved his eyes to the dresses and female clothes. He blinked at them for a bit, his gaze unwavering, before he picked one up. They were definitely too small for him, which mean that Sasuke probably wore them.

He couldn't wrap his mind around the thought of Sasuke in women's clothes. Sure, they obviously weren't intended for regular wear, just for the bedroom – but as his mind wandered to the mental image of Sasuke's flushed face, his legs spread out, the skirt opening allowing him to see –

He shook the image out of his mind.

Okay, he decided, Sasuke probably wore them because Naruto liked them.

He put it back where it was and closed the door. That had been… interesting. He walked out into the hallway again. He stopped in front of three framed photos – some decoration within the house with unadorned walls.

He observed them closely. The top left one was of them when they graduated. They had their cap and gown on, their diplomas in their hands. Naruto smiled upon noticing that he had been holding his upside down. He turned his gaze to the top right one, which was of them obviously before prom. The thought of them attending prom together made him smile, his chest bubbling again. Sasuke had a small smile on his face, while Naruto had a shit-eating grin plastered on his.

He looked at the last one. It was of them kissing. It was at their wedding. Naruto noticed the tears wetting his eyes, and the ones that were actively running down Sasuke's face. Sasuke honest to god loved him. He found himself wondering why Sasuke did. Naruto was an ass himself – something he hadn't really taken notice of until this whole amnesia thing.

Naruto tore his gaze away from the pictures, his eyes immediately landing on the room he had yet to enter.

He approached the door and cautiously opened it, because if he had learned anything from the closet incident, it was that they were into some freaky shit.

He wasn't expecting to turn on the light to be greeted by painting after painting after painting.

Some were hanging on the walls; many were on the ground, leaning on each other. The subjects ranged widely, from butterflies to flowers to landscapes and then to portraits. Naruto didn't recognize any of the people. The painting was so masterfully handled and executed that Naruto found himself envying Sasuke's natural talent at everything all over again.

He looked over to the left corner, where the two largest paintings were. They were portraits, and Naruto definitely recognized the subjects.

The one on the floor next to the easel holding the other one had a smiling Naruto on it. The one on the easel wasn't quite complete, but he could tell it was Sasuke. The style of them made the brush strokes look big, and Naruto liked it. Sasuke had good taste.

"They're wonderful – aren't they?" Naruto jumped at Sasuke's nostalgic voice.

"Ye-yeah," Naruto replied shakily, "you're great."

"What?" Sasuke asked, looking at the blond.

"I said you're great – but, then again, you've always been quite talented." Sasuke gave a soft laugh.

"These aren't mine."

Naruto looked at Sasuke in astonishment.

"You hadn't started painting in junior year, had you?" Sasuke asked quietly.

"No, I hadn't." Naruto replied in wonder. He pointed to the two in the corner.

"Those are nice," Naruto said. Sasuke's face darkened quickly.

"You said you'd finish them for our anniversary." Sasuke replied darkly. Naruto looked at him.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"Nothing." Sasuke was obviously angered by something.

"Seriously, Sasuke," Naruto moved his arms as if to embrace the man, "what's wrong, what did I do?"

Sasuke turned away. "It's nothing." Sasuke barked out.

"If I'm your husband, I don't understand why you treat me like-"

"YOU'RE NOT THE MAN I MARRIED!" Sasuke turned to scream at him.

They stared at each other for a long time. Sasuke's stare was so god damned furious, but Naruto could see the tears running down his face, he could see the hurt, the loneliness, the longing he had for his future self.

Sasuke turned away suddenly and stalked out of the hallway.

Naruto hurt. He hurt so bad. The way Sasuke was suffering wasn't fair. He was so angry at himself, but he knew he couldn't help it. He had no way of apologizing to his husband, and it left him feeling so helpless.

A door was slammed shut, some things had fallen in another room. Naruto was alarmed by this sudden accusation, until he realized – yeah, he _wasn't_ the man Sasuke had married – Sasuke had married the Naruto from so many years in the future.

* * *

He walked into the living room to attempt to find Sasuke. He wasn't in there. He checked the kitchen, he wasn't in there. He checked the bedroom, the guest room, the painting room again, hell, he checked the linen closet and the water heater, but Sasuke wasn't there.

Naruto reentered the living room and noticed a container had been knocked over from its place on a shelf. He bent down to pick up what had fallen out of it – his phone. He inhaled a shaky breath as he pressed the home key – October 23rd. He swiped and entered 1023.

It unlocked.

Naruto exhaled slowly. Oh, fuck – it was their anniversary - Sasuke wanted him back. He looked to the side where there was a door on the far wall. Sasuke kept telling him to not go outside, so he hadn't gone out the door, which would explain why he had forgotten about its existence.

He exited the house into the back yard. He looked to his left to see a swinging bench. Sasuke was seated on it, swinging it slightly with his foot. His shoulders were still shaking with his quiet sobs. Naruto sighed and moved to sit next to him. Sasuke immediately stiffened as Naruto maneuvered them both to where Naruto was laying down with Sasuke's back to his chest. Naruto stroked his hair in a desperate attempt to calm him down.

"What's wrong, Sasuke?" Naruto asked in a soothing voice.

"Rien (Nothing)," Sasuke said. Naruto sighed out - he might not understand French, but he had a pretty good idea of what he had said.

"Sasuke." Naruto scolded.

"It's just –" Sasuke cut himself off, "it's… it's our anniversary. You're still not back."

Naruto let them rock a while as Sasuke continued to speak.

"It's October 23rd, because your birthday is in October and mine is on the 23rd…" Sasuke sniffed as he trailed off, "we got married 8 years ago today."

"2009, right?" Naruto asked, trying to get his timeline straight. Sasuke nodded.

"Yeah. It was a little after they had legalized gay marriage, so we thought we'd have a go at it, since we were planning to at some point already."

"Gay marriage wasn't always legal?" Naruto asked, pausing the rocking. Sasuke stilled.

"No, idiot," Sasuke said harshly, but in more of a teasing way, "it wasn't."

"Oh." The rocking resumed.

Sasuke seemed to draw back into himself after he had said his bit. Naruto sighed. He hated how tense Sasuke was around him – he wanted to stop it. No matter how many times the blond attempted to coax him back into conversation, he abruptly ended it.

Naruto tried to think of what they had talked about over the past two weeks – he hoped that something would give him a hint as to what would help him. Something they commonly did, because falling back into routine would probably soothe Sasuke. After all, the Sasuke he knew was a man of routine. He just hoped to god that this Sasuke still was.

Then he realized what might just be his trump card. He gulped. The thing Sasuke seemed the most comfortable with was sexual things, which told Naruto that his hormones might never leave him.

Naruto moved to stand and held a hand out for Sasuke, who grasped it lightly. He pulled him into the bedroom. Sasuke stopped at the doorframe.

"No, you don't have to," Sasuke shook his head, "I can't ask you-"

"You're not asking me," Naruto stated, "I'm asking you."

Sasuke looked up at him teary eyed. Naruto held his gaze, because he knew that if he backed down now then there was no way he would've been able to get on with it.

Sasuke nodded cautiously before approaching the blond. Naruto led him to lie down on the bed with his head against the pillows. Naruto leaned down to kiss Sasuke lightly.

"What do you like?" Naruto asked. He had become aware again of his lack of knowledge when it came to pleasuring his husband.

"What?" He asked.

"What do you like me doing to you?" Naruto tried to keep the uncertainty out of his voice.

Sasuke opened his mouth just to close it again. He looked to the side.

"I can't- I can't."

"It's okay," Naruto said softly, picking up his left hand to kiss his ring. Sasuke visibly choked up at the action.

"No, I can't ask you."

Naruto pulled back to look at Sasuke. He was god damned gorgeous, really. He immensely regretted asking why he had married Sasuke, because the longer he spent with him, the more he came to love him.

Oh, how he wished he had gotten him sooner, so that he, too, was aware of how great Sasuke really was.

Naruto came out of his thoughts with determination.

"Fine, then," Naruto stated, "I'm going to find out myself."

He leaned down to kiss Sasuke again. It felt so good, so natural to kiss those rosy lips of his. It felt good to kiss down his jaw. He pulled back slightly to look at the tattoo that was on Sasuke's shoulder.

"You got a tattoo?" Naruto breathed out onto Sasuke's skin. He shuddered before shakily nodding.

Naruto moved to bite it before sucking, and dear god if Sasuke didn't like that. He arched up and moaned loudly. Naruto came to the sudden realization that Sasuke was pretty sensitive.

He moved lower, leaving mark after mark on his collar bone, which Sasuke also liked. Naruto paused at the nipples – he knew girls liked it, but he was kind of lost as to what guys liked. He decided to try it anyways. He leaned down to graze his teeth lightly before sucking on it. Sasuke forced his head to stay by grabbing his hair as his body shook slightly from the pleasure. He panted harshly now, small moans clawing their way out of his throat.

Naruto decided to spend some time on that, and Sasuke seemed to appreciate it. After a while, he moved lower, kissing down his body. Sasuke arched up every once in a while when the pleasure got a bit more intense.

Now, Naruto might not have known what felt good to other guys, but he figured it had to do with something lower. He eventually came to his thighs, which he spread so he could suck marks on Sasuke's skin between his thigh and groin. Sasuke called out Naruto's name as he shuddered again. Naruto was glad that he seemed to be doing a good job.

He pulled back.

Now, the obvious thing to do would be to blow him. The only problem with that was that Sasuke didn't want to ask him to do what he wanted, and he hadn't seemed so bashful about blow jobs earlier. Naruto stilled and considered what exactly he was willing to do for Sasuke.

He dragged Sasuke to him slightly so he could look at what he was considering doing. The way Sasuke started trembling in anticipation and the look of pure lust in his eyes when Naruto looked into them told him that, yeah, he found out what Sasuke wanted.

"You don't…" Sasuke breathed out with some difficulty, "you don't have to. I know you're not comfortable, Naruto – you can stop."

Suddenly, Naruto had never wanted to do something more.

He finally leaned down to run his tongue across Sasuke's twitching entrance.

Sasuke called out loudly, arching up as much as his position would let him.

Dear god, Naruto thought as he continued to rip those god awfully amazing sounds from Sasuke's mouth, he could see why he liked doing this.

He decided to try to see what sucking on it would do and dear god if Sasuke's cries didn't climb up another register at the action. Naruto was so fucking determined to make Sasuke feel as good as possible, and with the way Sasuke was writhing and crying out for him below the blond, he was doing a pretty damned good job.

He finally worked up the nerve to push his tongue through. Sasuke's hips immediately began to move to fuck himself on it and Naruto groaned. God damn Sasuke was so fucking hot. For some strange reason, Naruto got the sudden need to make Sasuke come from just this. So, when Sasuke moved his hand to relieve himself from the maddening pleasure that mouth was torturing him with, Naruto grabbed his wrist and pulled it away. Sasuke immediately understood, but he was so god damned ready to come that he was near in tears.

It took a little while, but finally Sasuke came, and he came hard. Naruto loved it – the way Sasuke continuously convulsed, his voice raw and laced with pleasure, the way he twitched and twisted and moved against him – and, dear Jesus, if this wasn't the sexiest thing he had ever experienced. Naruto continued to rim him throughout his orgasm as Sasuke squirmed to get away from the tongue that was over sensitizing him.

When Naruto finally pulled back, Sasuke was sucking in air as if he had just run a marathon. Now, Naruto had heard of rim jobs before, but he wasn't aware that anyone was that sensitive to them, but, of course, he couldn't be sure – his junior year self hadn't done this before. Sasuke did seem to be sensitive already, and the fact that he had had amnesia for two weeks now meant that Sasuke had gone a long time without sex – well, if they did it as often as Naruto assumed.

When Naruto looked back down at Sasuke's face and Sasuke's eyes looked up at his, Naruto grimaced.

That hurt was still there. That longing was still there. He really, really wanted it to go away, but it became increasingly apparent that the only way to get rid of it was for him to come back.

And, oh, how desperately he wanted to.

"Do you want to continue," Sasuke asked quietly, "or do you want me to get you off and call it quits? Which, of course, is fine; I'm not going to force you into anything."

Naruto looked down on him.

"Continue."

"Really?" Sasuke was surprised. Naruto nodded.

Sasuke reached into the bed side table to grab the lube. He opened it, but before he could pour it out Naruto grabbed it from him.

"Um, excuse me." Sasuke blinked at him, his voice filled with sass.

"Let me do it." Naruto said. Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"Jesus Christ, Naruto, I am the only man you've ever been with, I know for a _fact_ that you don't know what you're doing – give me it." A pale hand was held out expectantly. Naruto pulled back in defense.

"No." Sasuke looked at the blond in disbelief. He sat up.

"What the hell do you mean, 'no'?" He asked.

"I mean no. No means no. Let me do it." Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"You don't know _how_." Sasuke groaned out in annoyance.

The reason why Naruto kept going was because, for some odd reason, Sasuke was visibly relaxing. If Naruto had thought about it, he would've thought it was weird, because that implied that they fought a lot during sex. But, honestly, they had always been like this since junior year Naruto had known him, so he would've been relieved that some aspect of their old selves was still intact.

Right now, though? He had to argue to get his way in order to get Sasuke to relax.

"Why don't you _tell_ me then, bastard?" Naruto asked rudely. Sasuke rolled his eyes and groaned at Naruto's trademarked stubbornness.

"It. Goes. On. Your. Fingers." Sasuke growled out from between clenched teeth. Naruto looked at his hand.

"Oh." He poured some on his fingers and spread it. Then he looked at Sasuke again.

"What is it _now?_ " Sasuke complained.

"The fuck I gotta do with these, man?" Naruto asked. Sasuke placed his hands on his face, took a deep breath, and dragged them down slowly in exasperation.

"You put them in my ass. To spread lube and stretch me. There, happy?" Sasuke asked before covering his face in his hands again. Jesus fucking Christ.

Naruto looked at him.

"You bottom?" Naruto asked.

Sasuke laughed. He looked at him between his hands.

"You honest to god hate it, and someone's gotta do it." He put his hands over his face again. He honestly couldn't look at that face – it was Naruto's, but the eyes were different, the talking was different, the – everything. Everything was different and he hated it.

Naruto gulped. Sasuke held up one finger, so Naruto inserted one. It felt weird – not for Sasuke, who was so god damned used to it by now that it wasn't funny – but for Naruto, who, in his junior year, had never been with another guy. That apparently didn't happen until his senior year, where he hooked up with Sasuke and then no one else ever again.

And then he realized that that meant he was god awfully in love with Sasuke, too. Naruto had never been the kind of person to stay with one person for long – everyone tended to get boring after a few months.

10 years. He had been with Sasuke for 10 years. Apparently Sasuke wasn't as boring as his junior year self believed.

He hadn't noticed that he had already put a second finger in, or that he was working them to stretch Sasuke due to being so lost in thought. He came into reality again as Sasuke cried out and arched up again, his ass clenching against his fingers. Naruto stopped in alarm.

"Are you okay?" Naruto asked. Sasuke glared up at the ceiling.

"That was my prostate, Naruto. It feels good when you hit it. Do it again or I swear to god I will punch you in the throat."

Naruto gulped before continuing. It was blatantly apparent that Sasuke liked it, what with the way he rolled his body or he clawed at the sheets below him or the way his brows were furrowed or the was his mouth was dripping with wanton moans. At some point Sasuke grabbed Naruto's hand and jerked his hand out. He sat up suddenly, coating his hand in lube, and then slicking Naruto up.

Naruto tensed.

Touching Sasuke was one thing. He could do it, because he was used to touching others, and, even though it _was_ Sasuke, he was still experienced in some departments by the time junior year was over.

Sasuke was not. Sasuke had never touched anyone but him. To junior year Naruto, though, this was the second time he knew of Sasuke touching anybody. It was weird to think of the boy genius as someone who would like bedroom time, but he guessed that most people did to some extent.

Naruto returned to reality once again to find himself hovering over Sasuke on the bed. Sasuke was stroking the side of Naruto's face softly.

"Are you okay?" Sasuke asked softly. Naruto nodded.

That damned look was in his eyes again.

Sasuke grasped both sides of Naruto's face so he could look into them directly.

"I need you to thrust into me one go." Sasuke stated. "I hate it when you go slow at first. Just get in there and sit until I say I'm ready." Naruto looked slightly concerned, so Sasuke sighed, "It will hurt me, but I'll get over it, Naruto. We've done this many times, I can handle this."

Naruto nodded. He attempted to steady his heartbeat and breathing as he positioned himself. He looked down on Sasuke, who was visibly trying to relax. Naruto dropped his forehead softly onto Sasuke's before he thrust in.

Sasuke clenched instinctively, letting out yelp of pain. Despite Sasuke's previous warning of this happening, Naruto pulled back to make sure he was alright.

Looking down on Sasuke's face, he realized that, yeah, he was okay. Nothing out of the ordinary – he always got like this when they had been apart for a while. He would just patiently wait for him to adjust –

Holy shit.

Just like ordinary.

He always got like this when they had been apart for a while.

Naruto was remembering.

And, slowly but surely, the rest came trickling in.

He remembered when they had first met, during the second semester of eighth grade, where they immediately hated each other.

He remembered when Kiba had dared him to kiss Sasuke. It was actually the last dare he had ever taken.

He remembered when he had asked Sasuke out shortly after that. Sasuke had punched him in the face because he thought he was making fun of him until he realized that the blond was serious and then they just laughed at the occurrence.

He remembered prom. They had to attend as friends because they couldn't attend as dates, and he was legitimately the only reason Sasuke had gone at all.

He remembered graduation. He was holding the diploma upside down in the pictures Sasuke insisted on being perfect on purpose – just to spite Sasuke.

He remembered when he proposed. The whole day had fucked up and it was depressingly anticlimactic, but Sasuke still cried and grabbed Naruto into a bear hug when he asked.

Naruto remembered the wedding. It was eight years ago to the day. People ridiculed them due to the fact that they were only 19 and 20, but they didn't care.

Naruto remembered the boy wonder nickname – which originated from his repeated misquoting of Disney's Hercules - that Sasuke hated. He was surprised that Sasuke actually used it.

Then he came to the past two weeks.

He had put Sasuke through so much torture. Sasuke was suffering so visibly. He still hated himself for letting this happen, for doing this to his husband.

He resurfaced into reality again to Sasuke's hand cupping Naruto's face, his face full of concern, that look still held within them.

"Are you alright?" Sasuke asked again. He was now legitimately worried – Naruto wasn't one to over think.

"I love you." Naruto breathed out; admiring the gorgeous face he had come to love these past 10 years.

Sasuke turned his head to the side in anger.

"No you don't." He growled.

Sasuke whipped his head to look at the blond when he heard him laugh. Naruto smirked down on him, his eyebrows raised in a playful kind of mocking way.

"Oh, I don't love you, do I?" Naruto asked.

Sasuke was scared.

Usually when Naruto went through one of these sudden changes in demeanor, Sasuke got as far away from him as possible - he was kind of a whack job at times. Much to Sasuke's dismay, though, he came to the realization that Naruto's dick was currently plugged firmly up his ass, so he would just have to strap in for the ride.

"Say something." Naruto requested. Sasuke looked side to side before looking back at him.

"Excuse me?"

"Say something." Naruto repeated harshly.

"What do you me-" Sasuke stopped mid-sentence.

Sasuke had a feeling that he knew what was happening, but dear god did he not want to get his hopes up.

"Tu est un imbécile (You're an idiot)." Sasuke breathed out.

Naruto squished his hand into Sasuke's face, who attempted to get it off of him.

"Shut up, you fucking Frenchie." Sasuke stopped.

That was it. That was the response he had been looking for this whole time – just to make sure it was him he was talking to.

And this time it was.

Naruto removed his hand.

"Look at me and behold – it is I, the Frenchiest fry!" Naruto declared mockingly.

Sasuke's eyes widened before he smiled wide and hugged his husband to him, crying happily.

"I don't know how you could stand me these past few weeks, Sas. If I met my high school self, I would've punched him in the throat." Sasuke laughed at this, which turned into a surprise gasp as Naruto suddenly started moving.

"What, did you forget what we were doing?" Naruto asked.

Sasuke was so happy. Here he was, his husband, back from wherever his memories went. And he was so glad. His Naruto knew him, understood him, loved him, cared for him… he was so amazing.

Sasuke arched up and cried out loudly as Naruto abruptly changed his angle.

Oh, and he was much, _much_ better in bed.

* * *

 **A/N:** Apologies for the god awful lemon shit bc honestly this is the longest / most explicit I have ever written. Also first rim scene I've written, despite reading and enjoying so many lol. It's my favorite thing for them to do? I dunno, I'm just sorry it sucked.

Also sorry about the horrible slang and French too. Also sorry that the epilogue will have more shitty French? Oh, well, y'all can go suck a well-endowed cock or something.

There will be an epilogue.

 **EDIT:** Tiny edit for bitchy-ness to the max. More French edits.


	8. You Want An Epilogue, Now?

**Warnings:** FinalShittyEden!French

* * *

YOU WANT AN EPILOGUE NOW?

Sasuke blinked the sleep out of his eyes. He looked around and decided that he had no idea where he was. He sat up and rubbed his eyes before stretching and yawning.

"Hello, beautiful." A man said.

Sasuke turned to look at him. He was blond, tan, and much, much older than he was, so he couldn't fathom _why_ he had just called him beautiful.

"And what are you called?" Sasuke asked in a thick French accent. Naruto's eyes widened as he choked on the water he was drinking.

"Dear god, Sasuke – what grade are you in?"

"How do you know me?" Sasuke asked.

"Just answer the damned question."

"Why, I'm about to start 6èmè. (sixième, 6th grade)"

Naruto groaned.

"English, you fucking Frenchie." Sasuke looked at him.

"Excusez moi?" Sasuke asked incredulously.

Accent? Check

Broken English? Check

No knowledge of Naruto? Also check

Naruto groaned again. He had definitely drawn the short end of the stick – Sasuke had gotten a Naruto that knew of him, Naruto got a Sasuke that hadn't even known him at that point.

Naruto just thanked god that neither of them were naked, because that would have sure been awkward.

Naruto was fairly certain that this Sasuke was starting 6th grade, because of how close he was to when he had moved to America – judging by the accent and such – and how far he was from meeting Naruto – because he had lost the accent by then.

Oh boy.

"Um, Sasuke," Naruto started uncertainly, "you're, uh… you're 27. You graduated high school 10 years ago. We're married."

Sasuke looked at him for a minute or two, registering this information.

"Pardonez-moi, quoi? (I'm sorry, what?)"

* * *

 **A/n:** And that's the end! I've been expanding and expanding so it didn't feel like such a shit show lol.

Thanks for reading, my dudes, hope you liked.

 **EDIT:** Another edit for the last line. Translates to "Excuse me, what?" But I get more of an "I'm sorry, what?" vibe.

Corrected by AO3 readers. Thank.


End file.
